Michelle Jacobs
Week 9
Coaching assignment #6
I met with Wendy for our coaching call. Wendy recalled a
past situation where she didn’t realize that she was applying empathic
listening and an experience from this week that she utilized empathic listening.
The past situation that Wendy utilized empathic listening was in a past UMASS
Boston class where another student was monopolizing the class and the
professor. Wendy stated that she listened to what the other student was saying
and put herself in their shoes trying to understand the situation that they
might be in. The situation that Wendy applied empathic listening this week was
with her mother. Wendy felt as though it was difficult to accomplish but a good
different from what she was used to. Wendy was not sure if it would work for
the long term but felt it was effective for a short-term solution to keep the
peace between her and her mother. Wendy stated that she would recommend that
others try this strategy. It felt as though it was an adventure but at the end
of it felt as though she made some progress. Wendy and I discussed that it
might be tough with relationships that already have a set type of dialogue that
the participants are used to.
For my coaching call with Kerri I explained that I used
empathic listening with my sister whom I typically listen to in a judgmental
manner and tend to download with. I felt as though empathic listening was very
difficult to use with my sister and the reason being is that I feel as though
my sister is very immature. She needs to stop complaining about being bored all
the time and either go back to school or get a job. I have tried to put myself
in her shoes but each time I keep thinking how I would do things differently if
I was her. Growing up neither one of my parents gave my sister tough love and
now I feel as though I fill that role for my sister. She has been offered
assistance and help to get her life together but never takes the help. I feel as though I could use empathic
listening each time with my sister but it does feel like I am being my true
self. Is it worth keeping the peace if I am not being true to who I am. I feel as though she has enough people
fulfilling that role that I can take on a role that maybe isn’t as nice but
needed to get her motivated. A few
people in my family believe she will grow out of it but I am not willing to
wait around to find out. I will continue to attempt empathic listening. Maybe
over time it will feel sincere and not make me feel as though I am faking a
conversation. I certainly can understand
its usefulness in other social situations.
